bIKE cLUB

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Get it on! On like Donkey Kong!



Get that Tickler 4/5 monkey off your back and get ready to rumble at Partyapalooza Cinco! One of the events will, of course, be Alpine Slide racing so plan on bringing $9 for each heat you think you'll survive. Sadly we've no fire pit at the Love Shack so methinks a soak in Strawberry Hot Springs will have to substitute, don't worry you can still get naked if desired

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Mad Creek


Chainsaw chewed up Mad Creek last night on her beloved Yeti while Highroller and the Big Fish hiked in and checked out some good looking climbing routes. Beautiful evening and so sweet to have good trails right down the road. Mad Creek was overflowing with snowmelt and roaring!

Thinking about the upcoming 5th Partyapalooza (who'da thunk?) made me delve deep back into the scrolls and discover this year's end of season party (should any of us make it thru the season) will be Farva #7. After last year I believe no one has attended all 6 but still that is pretty cool that we haven't matured whatsoever and keep returning to our ancestral hunting grounds in quest for a Farva award. This is some group of whackos we have coalesced into over the years...

Farva 1-Kent!, naked wheelies thru campfire by Brad, Uno

Farva 2-Full Moons Under the Full Moon ride

Farva 3-Fruita Cheerleader, Halloween, Beer Drinking Robot

Farva 4-Crow Ridge, Zion Curtain, fined by the ranger

Farva 5-Shot-Ski!

Farva 6 - CHeetoh Gardens

Who knows what the future holds but our past is littered with epics, bad ideas and poor descision making and I for one hope for many more years of the same to come!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

PRTYPLZA 5


Partyapalooza Cinco mutha-trucker!

Sometimes once is not enough, sometimes even 3 times does not beat the message into the thick, bony knobs we Cyclonauts call heads. Need proof? Tickler 4, need I say more? All’s fair in love and war Footsoldiers and some things that aren’t even fair in war (mustard gas, torture) are STILL fair in love but deep deep down, somewhere beneath the cerebellum, wrapped lovingly around our reptilian subcortex is a ticking time bomb of a genetic program bred and mutated thru centuries of eons by Thems That Must Not be Named that will, eventually, MAKE you ride Tickler 4 (or 5 depending upon whom’s counting). Is this fair? No. Is this justice? How can we maintain our illusion of sovereignity with the Uber Ancestors lurking like creepy (or even creepier than normal at least) puppet masters on high, waiting patient as the spiders they so closely resemble to yank our strings, jerk our chains and otherwise make us dance the dance of bIKE cLUB yet again with no mercy or consideration for the plans, social or otherwise, we might have been engaged in. Alas such protestations fall upon deaf ears, or at least deaf ‘scaly timpanums’ and earn your most humble of scribes yet another gut-wrenching spray of acidic poison to the face. But be thee thusly warned nonetheless. You will ride Tickler 4/5! You may think you’re just hopping on the bike to run over to the Corner Bar, you may be test riding a Pista, you may even just accidentally brush up against a bicycle but when you eventually come to you’ll find your self hours into a brush-with-death journey up up up Four Mile Canyon and onto the Ticker 4 course. So why not plan for it in advance and wear you’re special squishy shorts?
Sure you can ask “Why? Why me? Why now?” but let me assure you that your lamentations, however heartfelt, are but the pleasing drone of worker bees to Those Who Lurk, no more potential to be rewarded with answers than a viewer of “Lost”, no more effective than a moth trying to headbutt his way thru the windshield of a 747 and sadly even less likely to be successful than Edward Norton in upcoming“The Hulk” remake. Located as we are in the stinking cesspool of the Yampa we, and here I employ the imperial “we”, will not be able to effectively plan such a sojourn, nor even ineffectively plan, as is our standard modus operandi so you will be left to your own devices and natural deviousness. But get ‘er done as Aug 1-2-3 we will celebrate the completion of this Incredible Journey at the previously mentioned Partyapalooza Cinco! 5 blades for 5 times the closeness! (this made slightly more sense when it was Partyapalooza Quattro) Partyapalooza will also celebrate the hatching days of lada lada lada as you all know well, will take place in Steamboat Springs and will likely involve a massive ride on Sat 8/2, a smaller ride on Emerald Mtn on 8/3 and as much tubing, drinking, drinking, fly fishing, bbq, cold beers for drinking, alpine sliding and whatnot as you can stand. Finishers of The Tickler will finally reap their just reward and never again be asked to ride the Tickler. Also a finishers t-shirt will be presented! Seriously!
If you’ve just skipped right down to the bottom than I cheer your time management skills…Aug 1-2-3 2008 Steamboat Springs Partyapalooza Cicno! Be there!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Sanitas TT

Pack 'o Alfords took on the dreaded Sanitas time trial Sunday morning, my first time up Sanitas since the last TT, won by the Albino Sasquatch in about 30:30 if I recall correctly. Well we just missed nipping that record (by about half an hour) with TSA along for the ride but had a sweet hike all the same. Killer day and lotsa memories on the trail. Man, how many days have we run, hiked or bouldered on Sanitas over the years?

Chainsaw will not be denied on the climb, and thus will likely be crippled today. Nice work Mom! Trout and pack add about 30-35lbs...

Our 2nd summit together (after the wicked Cedar Mtn outing last week...)





Pooped!
The Ryan B&B was stellar as always, thanks Steph and Dave! Prime porch weather, even at 8000ft had us kicking off the sweats and shoes and lounging in style after some quick housework at Das Chalet (still for sale $174,500!). Downed some cold beers and delicacies while catching up on their recent trip to the Caribbean (Steph not usually quite so tan in color) and broke open a bottle of Moots wine as well. Great to see the cool high country again and we felt a bit nostalgic for the old neighborhood...
Thence to sup at the Gondolier where Amy "Plan B" Wolke made an appearance. Plan B partook in the first ever bIKE cLUB night ride, and then wisely never ever rode with us again, though she might have been involved in some naked chicken fights here and there...



Trout can fit you in his mouth, or at least he'll give it a good try


Miki, Scott (wedding June 20th!), Scott, Liz (due July 15!!) Loni (birthday yesterday), Cheese-O, Dave, Steph





Spoons!


Caribbean, Front Range, Steamboat. Three shades of tan on display










Thanks all! MR T!

Friday, May 16, 2008

My head just exploded...

http://www.blublu.org/sito/video/muto.htm

Things like this make me proud to be human, just to be related (in a species type of way) with minds who can come up with things like this. Go homo sapiens!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Moab, how we missed you...

Dash on the way to the Portal...
Loni and Corona Arch...
Loni and her first slickrock...
...and some sweet desert flowers.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Cenote




This past week Brendan, Jenn and I traveled to Tulum and Akumal Mexico. I am still unsure as to how our dive master got Jenn and Brendan to dive in a Cenote - sinkhole in spanish. Its a bit cramped and at times no sunlight and hard to swim through... Totally cool though, fresh water mixing with salt water. Bats flying in the cavern we surfaced in before continuing on the dive, and really cool sights of the underside of a pool of water. Its highly recommended!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

w=x13


Dear insert name of valued bIKE cLUB Member,

A year has passed now since the calamitous formulation of Alford's Thoerem, a year I've been living on borrowed time since the "saw blade in the spokes" incident. Also a year with lots of challenges obviously but one that has allowed me to further refine my theorem with the factor F for family. Family (however you define it) is the very essence of sharing the load, always having someone who's got your back no questions asked. And though it remains true that the worst that can happen is 13 times more horrible than you're thinking I believe the pain can be modified by sharing with those who've got you covered no matter what. Thus Alford's Family Modifier wherein w=x13/f. Those Cyclonauts out there with a passing familiarity with mathematics will tell you that in the above formula w (or "the worst") can be easily divided and therefor diluted by increasing f (or Family) such that though the worst is 13 times worse than you imagine(x), if you share the resulting pain with 13 friends and family it will actually balance out to be only as bad as you originally thought it would be. Simple, no? No? Well think of it this way, Sean threatens to ski by in the nude. In your mind you imagine that experience as being "x" horrible. Applying Alford's Theorem though we know the shaggy pale Albino Sasquatch experience will be 13 times worse than you imagine. However if you are surrounded by 12 friends each can take some small bit of the pain such that any one person only suffers a 13th of the true pain, or about as bad as you imagined it would be (x). If you were all alone, well...

Anyways we proud few in the Steamboat Springs Chapter of bIKE cLUB (known locally, with attendant howls of disdain as Steamboat Springs Single Speeders or "SSSS") have been running on a w=x13/f (with f=3) for far too long now so we plan on dropping into the Boulder environs this weekend to increase our f to at least 13 if not more. My 'better half', (or maybe that's my 'best third'?) will send out deets in a more recognizable format but plan on drinking beers with Trout this Saturday! I wanna test out a new theorem wherein "America" = "Fuck Yeah!" America!...

Monday, May 12, 2008

Thanks all!


Rolling Thunder! On Mother's Day the Mother gets out with spawn in literal tow for a couple miles of sunny bike path cruising. Thanks once again to all who chipped in on the sweet trailer! We've used it a couple dozen times as a jogger but this was our first foray in 'bike trailer' mode...rolls smooth and easy

Friday, May 09, 2008

And so it begins...


New lid for Mr T so he can eventually ride in the Chariot...'cause you know we'll wreck that thing sooner or later. Coming in hot!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008


Sorry Sean, but I had to share this. I was flipping through my friend's photos and I thought I recognized the orange and white kit. That is you, right? Its actually a cool shot, but how did that feel?

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Dragontail Couloir



Lee, Dominique and I skiied Dragontail Couloir on Sunday, top to bottom.  On the south face of Flattop Mountain in RMNP, it's the fork to lookers left in the photo - 1200 feet from ridge to lake of steep corn and sweet turns.  More photos if you click on the title - notice the French guy on leather boots and backcountry skis....

Monday, May 05, 2008

Cedar Mtn!

In an attempt to bounce back from the disastrous Zippety outing Chainsaw, Highroller and Mr T headed north of Craig to ride a dry rolling loop of singletrack on Cedar Mtn. What could be better than a few miles on the toasty, sage covered, high desert slopes of Cedar Mtn!

So of course the trail was still buried from the May 1st snowstorm, no bikes for us and in typical fashion we rallied for a Plan B posthole session that then devolved into a mudfest burly enough to rip the derailleurs off any bike. Luckily we were in soggy jeans and sneaks and so managed to slip and slide our way back down after scouting 2/3rds of the loop. Should actually be a nice little ride, similar to Betasso when it does dry out.


Mr T dug his first serious hike though he was busting out the seams on the Baby Bjorn and of course a warm boob to wrap things off didn't hurt either. Moms and Pops settled for TCBY....