He who laughs last, laughs best muthatrucker!

Never actually heard Chainsaw scream like a little girl before, but last night I was treated to a virtuoso performance as she popped the Subaru hood to find a large comfy looking rat staring at her from a nest atop the engine block! Hoo wee, glass was breaking across the valley! Joke was on me though as said rat completely ate two of the spark plug wires (see suspicious blank area above). In fact if Betty hadn't sniffed it out we would have fired up the car this morning, shot sparks into the nest of dry straw and had a nice engine fire (plus baked rat) by the end of the driveway...

She said

WORDS WOMEN USE
FINE-This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING-This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS-A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
WHATEVER
It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!

He said

What Men mean when they say: "Fine" -Things could be better, like if Swedish twins were massaging my nuts, but otherwise acceptable. "Five minutes" - The specified action will be taking place in 300 seconds, is there any chance you will be ready by then? "Nothing" - It involves feelings, and I don't talk about feelings. "Go ahead" - A decision has been reached, you should proceed, like now. Loud sigh - The Eagles looked promising this season but are putting in another lacklustre performance. Also useful for -No you don't look fat (or at least not any fatter than in anything else you wear) in that. "That's Ok" - I'm dissapointed, in 10 seconds however I will have completely forgotten about it and am unlikely to ever revisit this issue in future arguments. "Thanks" -for nothing "Whatever" - Hmmm, her lips are moving but I've drifted off thinking about the Donovan McNabb-Terrel Owens feud, and weather the two new interns at the office could be Swedish...oh no she's stopped. She's looking right at me! I should say something, keep it general, don't let on that you have no idea what she's asked, ummm...

Allah ka-zam! Dub and the Crossbowmaker stop in to launch the official Firepit season opener over corn, weiners and s'mores. Hope everyone had a fine week-end and is at least contemplating dabbling up on Kenosha this coming Sat...also a crit in downtown Fruita on Sunday for those inclined! Highroller will be there and will scout out some new alternatives for the 2005 Farvas (tentatively scheduled for the 2nd weekend in Oct) so don't say I didn't warn you!

Keelan and Betty get down to bizniz.

"Lemme just finish blow-drying my hair and I'll see if I can pick up this hot chick here..."

New X-ray specs turn ordinary Clark Kent into Highroller-extraordinaire. Rolling out before dinner for a hot lap with Long's Peak in the background, just about the best time of year for riding in the high country...

Chainsaw clears the gnar gnar on her Hoo-Ha!

Banzaii!

Pegleg, Blowhole, Blunderbuss and Swabby prepare to shove off. Nice to see everyone at Cheetoh Gardens last night, and especially nice to christen the Gardens with the traditional empty beer can toss o'er the shoulder. Someone tell Ann her chicken is ready!

Happy Birthday to Thumper Valentine! May those who Lurk on High turn a blind eye (or three) to your joy on this your hatching day!

"Is it hard enough?" "Yes, it's stiff enough already! Now stick it in there and let's get going." Well what can one observer possibly relate to the unknowing (and teeming) masses inquiring about the fate of Tickler Dos that could possibly capture the grandeur, the majesty, the sheer ass-pounding that one and all who took part experienced this Sunday past? "Marklar!"

Tickler Dos goes down hard and painful, like a gravel sandwich! Mmmm mm she sure do sting!

Where the hell are we again?

Sweet Jimmy Christ, I can't feel my penis!

Pete "Is this hard enough?"

The Reverend grinds it out. Who's ass isn't tartare now?

All action all the time! The first of many foot dunkings as Chainsaw powers out of Camp Dick.

Refueling

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Originally uploaded by shZo.

The brothers, keeping a safe distance while dining.

The DryWay

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Originally uploaded by shZo.

Yes, there was a boardwalk/logride if you wanted to stay dry...and had some spare skills to show off.

Stream-Crossing Done Right, cont.

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Originally uploaded by shZo.

With Sawtooth looming in the distance, Thumper completes a flawless ride!

Stream-Crossing Done Right

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Originally uploaded by shZo.

A quick learner, Thumper wades(?) in. The water was over his top tube shortly after this.

Stream-Crossing 101, cont.

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Originally uploaded by shZo.

Never one to give up easily, MOA finishes in good style.

Stream-Crossing 101, cont.

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Originally uploaded by shZo.

It's not. (No, he didn't go swimming.)

Stream-Crossing 101, cont.

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Never thought riding through water that deep was this easy?

Stream-Crossing 101

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Originally uploaded by shZo.

It is necessary to pause for a minute when there might be something valuable to learn on offer...

Tickler Two Cast

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Originally uploaded by shZo.

The cast looks so happy! Little do they know what is in store...

SANTORUM!

One of the mandates of this blog calls for us to despoil it.......

A few months ago, while reading Westword magazine's alternative sexual practices column"Savage Love", I came across the term "Santorum". The author, had decided to adopt the name of Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum(R), an uptight right winger type, as the word to describe the mixture of lubricant and feces that can be found after practicing anal sex.

I had pretty much forgotten about the term until the inital cleaning out of the compost toilet at the Wombat Room. With the mixture of peat moss and human waste spilled all over the bathroom floor, the term just popped back into my head.

Over the next few days, I shared my story with several members of bIKE cLUB but couldn't give the experience justice.

Fortunately, the departure from the Wombat Room provided an opportunity to get pictures that I can share with fellow readers.

Hopefully, nobody is going to lunch after reading this.

It might be best if Sydney, the new tenant of the Wombat Room, never views these pictures.

I'm glad I won't have to repeat this experience.

$5 on that green hopper there! 35 years old today and not one jot of wisdom gained...but adventures (and scars) galore! Chainsaw tried futily to catch up last night on a hot grovel lap 'round Betasso, dinging her shin-bone but good on the 1st steep bit up the connector, but it's gonna take a bit more than that minor flesh-wound girly! Cheese-O, Allison and Loni were in the house as well for a beautiful spin and some tasty grub. Friday, cocktails, somewhere, be there!

Ach mein minkeys!

OR is finally drawing to a close and Raccoon City will soon be but a shadow of it's former self, as the hordes of khaki wearing, light-hiker shod, breathable moisture transport skivvies clad outdoor industry drones retreat from SLC, drained of a crippling, but acceptable, amount of life energy, thereby powering the LDS ( eons old rivals and bitter blood feud enemies of the Uber Ancestors who Lurk on High) drip fed the stolen life's ichor in their fancy downtown Mausoleum, for yet another anum. Chainsaw and I will soon be amongst you again my brethren, and Mon Mothma like, we will clamp our slimy tenatacled forepaws around you in the the most heartfelt, and clammy, of welcomes! -Highroller

Tickler 2!

Fiends! Much too much to cover here Cyclonauts but after one whole day back at work I am off to SLC to rub elbows with some Mormons so we will have to catch up later on lies about the wedding/honeymoon/Monarch Crest/etc. Before I jet away though I want to remind you that your filial duties approach and August 21st will be the day! We will return to Peaceful Valley and Camp Dick, head west for a couple hours, then turn south and pour on the miles towards Eldora and hopefully Ned. Start thinking now about carpooling up there for an early 7am departure, pack for bear again, learn the route from W. Mag-Rollinsville-Pete's Beaver Park-S. Beaver Creek Rd-72-97-Magnolia in case you still have some juice after reaching Eldora...and prepare your chi! Tickler Dos hath come!

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Originally uploaded by shZo.

Brad, Officiating. My pictures are up on Flickr - see if you're featured!