bIKE cLUB Voting Guide 2008

After a long, and I mean looooong, campaign it all comes down to today and the myriad of ballot choices, candidates (yes there are more than two) and amendments means it is easier than ever to become confused so the Uber Ancestors On High have created this handy guide to insure that no more than an acceptable # of drones are lost, crushed, flayed or lasered in Election Day violence. Pay attention Cyclonauts!

Now one of the pictures shown here is of an army of laser weilding Daleks, ready to fry your carcass down to a puff of acrid greasy ashes. The other is a bunch of voting machines. Do not get the two confused! If approached by a Dalek screeching "Exterminate! Exterminate!" flee rapidly in the opposite direction while crouched over and zigging and zagging in classic broken field running style. For that matter if a voting machine starts screaming "Exterminate! Exterminate!" I'd defenestrate yourself immediately (so long as you are no higher than the third floor of course) and or wet yourself profusely. Running is probably also a good idea at this time.

Daleks, no wait, voting machines!

Also genuine volunteer election officials should look like hippies, NOT Sleestaks. If they look like Sleestaks (at left below) you're vote may be fraudulently recorded as "Kill Chaka!" instead of a valid entry of "Go Barack the vote, whicky whicky woo!" or "McCain/Palin, what could possibly go wrong?"

Finally of course steer clear of any curtained off alcoves that could shelter operatives from the hated BLTFFL (Boulder Ladies Tropical Fish Fanciers League), rabid Squirrels of Mirkwood, Spiky Tufted Death Gnomes, pixies, sasquatch (albino or fully pigmented) and/or Triffids.