My vision of Hell

...more closely resembling Hell is my current location at the free breakfast buffet of the Crystal Inn, Salt Lake City, UT. Crowds jostling under the fluorescent lights, plastic plants, indeterminate pastel "art" and faint background saxaphone noodling. Folks up in my grill, cutting in line and angling for maximum advantage, and all for what? A breakfast you wouldn't pay good money for...but it's free! Free swill for all my piggies! Free housing for all my veal-ies! Eat up, eat up! Then shuffle down this hallway, don't mind the men in the aprons, the hoses, the grates in the floor. Just put your head in this hole, don't kick now, don't struggle, don't worry. It's free!