There will be a new trophy on offer for the 2005 Farvas, hand carved from endangered tropical hardwoods this lustrous hued beauty will walk awaay with the Cyclonaut(s) responsible for the single DUMBEST thing of the year! Sure to be a hotly contested category so enter your nominations today! Also accepting nominations for One Liner 'O the Year, Trainwreck Award for Calamity, Whitesnake for Best Performance of Public Drunkeness, Rider 'O the Year and the Gay Johnson Spirit Award...and the NBBBC Cup Plaque will be awarded so wear a tux! And I am now proud to present to you...
“Slow on the Uptake” , a Tragedy in one part.
ReplyDeleteScene: A dusty desert bowl, two brothers sit around a cozy campfire. A raven croaks from far overhead as a VW Jetta pulls into one of the twelve available parking spots. On the rear bumper of the white Jetta is a Delta Gamma logo and a Jose Cuervo sticker, on top are two shiny mountain bikes, with clipless pedals!
Brad: (Throwing a friendly wave as he walks over to the Jetta) Howdy.
Amber: (Rolling down the window) Hi! How you doing?
Brad: Fine, fine.
Amber: Tiffany here and I ha…
Tiffany: Hi I’m Tiffany!
Amber: Didn’t I just say that Tiff?
Tiffany: I know but you always hog the cute ones and if you think for one seco…
Amber: Anyway we’ve been driving all over and it looks like all the other campsites are full.
Tiffany: Did you just interrupt me Amber? Ooooh after we set up camp we are SO having a tickle fight! You’re going down girl.
Amber: Anyway we wanted to know if you could spare a little room around the campfire? We hardly make any sound. We’re very good, except when we’re bad. Then we’re very bad and need to be spanked.
Tiffany: and we brought Tequila!
In the background Brian sends frantic ESP brainwaves but to no avail as Brad gives a sad shake of the head.
Brad: I’m sorry. We’ve got a bunch of friends coming in here later. Probably fill the whole place up.
Amber: Oh.
Tiffany: Oh.
Brian: (silently as a vein throbs violently at his temple) D’oh!
Amber: Hmm, Well I guess we’ll keep looking…thanks.
Brad: No problem! Have a nice day.
(Approximately 45 seconds later as the Jetta rolls out of sight…)
Brad: Oh.
lmao. WHERE did you find that, that, hideous THING. whew. i'm dyin'.
ReplyDeleteRider of the year nomination? Sasquatch for always showing up to a race, kissing the pipes, and walkin' in swingin'.